If Birds Were Human.



It is a strange notion of any developed society. For me to set foot upon a piece of land – which nobody but nature can lay claim of true ownership, I need a small micro-chipped booklet containing my photo and personal details, in order to do so. Even then, should I happen to have exited the womb upon an area declared dodgy by the onlookers from another zone, even my miserable mug shot doesn't qualify to grace certain portions of God’s greenest garden. According to the passport, our world is owned by human beings, even though human beings are mere guests on planet Earth…

In certain parts of these lands, and by certain types of people, I wouldn’t be allowed to criticise an invisible man in the sky, whose existence hasn't even been proved genuine; going on doctrines of two thousand year old books, carrying tales more ludicrous than an average episode of Dallas. They will fiercely proclaim to me how (insert atypical religious figure here), is the true God, and no living being is allowed to question his word; otherwise they will chop my legs off, or something similarly ludicrous. They will fail to mention the benefit to themselves these ideals conveniently provide, as well as the fact their worshipped leader just happens to come from the land they stop people from entering, without that small, micro-chipped booklet - and total capitulation of personal viewpoint. They have all the answers, even though nobody was asking them any questions...

If I drive around in an expensive car, and wear an even more expensive watch; the kind famous movie and sport stars have carefully shot photos of themselves taken with, other people will become convinced I am better than they are; as well as those whose cars and watches - while still perfectly functional, are not plastered on gigantic billboards much larger than I am. Even though - regardless of the watch we own and car we drive, we all sleep at night, dream of nonsense and look like shit in the morning, this is deemed of the utmost importance to civilisation. Attaining these items is considered a vital part of being a success; as if success is not spiritual enlightenment and emotion evolution, but owning a Ferrari, and living in a massive house. Money talks, and it never shuts up...

If birds were human beings, none of this would exist, much less matter. We would fly to a land of our choosing at will, vanish once the winter sets in, and never worry about borderline checks across the skies; we would all look the same anyway, so national security would be shot to hell. Buildings would be provided by nature, and none would remain out of bounds from the illusion of an invisible man in the sky declaring we can’t enter, without telling him he is absolutely right about everything. And finally, as bird don’t carry clothes or start bank accounts, money wouldn’t exist. Yes, we would miss out on all the inventions of man, but much like the internet to the majority of those living in the 20th century - you cannot miss what you never even knew was there.

Birds live the simple life. They fly, they eat, they love, they survive. They are wealthier because they have no desire for money, possess greater freedom without need for a passport, and are closer to God as they carry zero concept of religion. What we gain in the ability to walk and talk, we lose in our ability to just feel. Of course, on the flip-side, we would do a lot of accidental crapping on one another, so it wouldn't all be sunshine and roses....